Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Eight: Dividing Wall 3 (Julius’s POV)
“That’s why I’m not embarrassed anymore. Well, I’m still a little embarrassed sometimes. But I’m not as overwhelmed as before, and then I became able to see you much better than before, Mr. Julius.”
Karen gazed at Julius as if seeing through him. It felt as though she might see through even things that shouldn’t be seen through, but he couldn’t avert his gaze from Karen, and it was Julius himself who became unable to move.
“Until now, I was just squealing on my own. I thought that was fine. Because you were just making me feel good for the sake of your house anyway, Mr. Julius. I never thought there was a possibility that your sincerity was included in it.”
Karen peered into Julius’s eyes. At a distance where the Karen of before would have been too embarrassed to even look directly at his face.
Drawing close enough that their breaths might touch, Karen looked at Julius’s inner self rather than his face itself and said:
“When I thought about how much I’d overlooked your feelings while I was squealing, it felt wasteful. This isn’t the time to be melting my brain.”
“…There aren’t only good feelings within me, you know.”
Julius said this while feeling a hint of fear at Karen’s gaze, then suddenly gasped.
“Could it be… that because you saw through the improper feelings within me, you decided to refuse marriage with me?”
If she had only looked at Julius’s glittering exterior appearance, she would have been deceived, but because she touched Julius’s essence, hadn’t she thought that while she could date him, she couldn’t marry him?
Hearing Julius’s speculation, Karen first rounded her eyes in puzzlement, then her expression became serious and determined.
“That’s not it. Marriage is too much at the center of my dreams, so my brain can’t handle it.”
“Hm? …The center?”
“If I get married, I’ll almost certainly become absorbed in married life. I’m far too confident I’d throw alchemy aside. So I can’t get married yet.”
At the unexpected answer, Julius started to smile, but immediately realized reality and erased his smile.
“However, marriage with me will be different from the dream marriage you’ve imagined until now. I don’t know commoner marriages, and you don’t know noble marriages. Perhaps you wouldn’t need to become so absorbed?”
“If it’s marriage with you, Mr. Julius, no matter what it’s like, of course I’d become absorbed! Your estimate is far too optimistic!”
Looking down at Karen as she stated this decisively, Julius widened his eyes.
“Certainly, I can predict any number of difficulties. We definitely don’t look well-matched. It won’t be a time that’s just fun like dancing. Even so… honestly, I’m so happy I feel like I’m going crazy!”
Julius finally noticed that Karen was desperately pressing her lips together to keep the corners from loosening into a grin.
“I want to get married. Seeing Fiene has made that feeling stronger than ever. But if I get married, my alchemy life will… end!”
Julius almost said, “If you balanced both,” but swallowed the words. Now of all times, he had no intention of getting in Karen’s way.
However, if Karen became absorbed in marriage, in Julius, and forgot about alchemy and stopped in her tracks, he probably wouldn’t dare push her back either. He could imagine his future self tempting her with all his might so she would never remember alchemy again. If Karen were there, gazing only at him, then even if Julius didn’t mean to hinder her, he could see nothing but a future where he became an obstacle.
“You’d prefer it if I became an S-rank alchemist too, wouldn’t you, Mr. Julius? So, until I become an S-rank alchemist, won’t you wait for me!?”
Karen firmly grasped Julius’s arm and sent him pleading eyes. He almost said he’d wait as long as it took—but stopped himself.
He could wait. As long as needed—he surely would—but he didn’t want to.
However, he would probably end up being made to wait in the end.
Julius, whose weakness of being in love had been seized, smiled sweetly at Karen as payback.
“Karen. I’m not being kind to you for the sake of my house, I simply love you, so I wouldn’t mind even if you were F-rank.”
“Th-that makes me happy. But it doesn’t!”
“Your rank didn’t matter to me, but if you aimed to become an S-rank alchemist, I’d support you. Knowing you, Karen, you’d surely rise to S-rank in no time, wouldn’t you?”
“The pressure is overwhelming!”
Julius showed his most dazzling smile to Karen, who lately had stopped falling for just his smile, and whispered in her ear:
“I can’t wait to marry you soon, Karen.”
She reddened from her neck.
Julius had been worrying that he might not be able to fulfill Karen’s dreams, yet Karen believed that no matter what dreams she had about marriage, she could be happy as long as it was with Julius. If none other than Karen wished it to be so, then it surely would be—Julius found himself believing this too.
His minor worries and the wall between them would surely be trivial matters before this tireless, never-give-up hard worker.
The fact that he could think this without any real basis was unbearably amusing.
Laughing, Julius offered his congratulations for Karen’s dreams:
“When we do get married, I want to fulfill all your dreams, so if there’s anything I can help with, please tell me. For example, may I hear what kind of dream you have?”
At Julius’s question, Karen turned bright red before his eyes.
It didn’t look as though she was holding back out of modesty because the dream was something Julius couldn’t grant.
Karen turned bright red, held her head in her hands, and groaned.
“Ah! My brain… melted…!”
“It doesn’t seem to have melted, Karen.”
What Karen had melted was the wall—the anxiety within Julius.
Seeing Karen dyed red from head to toe for the first time in a while, Julius found himself wondering just what kind of dream she was having, and burst out laughing.
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